I read an article once about looking back over your day and making judgments at midnight.
It basically said, you shouldn't.
I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but a few weeks back my mom got one of those 4 ft above ground pools for the grandkids.
Set up in 15 mins
[waits for laughter to stop]
You should know that my parents live on an incline...
that makes for an unlevel pool.
You should also know it makes for about 3 weeks worth of work
on getting it set up
It has included two family gatherings with men folks using sand and math to level pool...
filling it up
it being oval instead of round and not filling correctly...
we (well, that would be my Dad) spends about $500 on lumber
and at yet another family gathering
the menfolk build a platform
lots of time
fill that baby up
it was all good
and the weight of the water
and a few of the braced 2x4's didn't agree
and the 2x4's broke
thus buckling the plywood platform
and making it jut up into the bottom of the pool
making it have to be drained
so that a hole isn't punched into the liner
here we are
three weeks later
three attempts later
and no pool
but a lot of disappointment
My life, today, at this midnight evaluation, feels a lot like that pool (to use it as a metaphor).
And that sounds way dramatic-huh?
But if I had to be honest.
That's what I'd tell you.
I feel like I've done things.
I've worked on things.
and I've failed.
and here I am
all this time later
all these tries later
and still no pool
but a good bit of disaappointment.
(again, dramatic, no?)
I've never been where I am in my life before...
and it's not where I ever imagined I would be...
and yet here I am
trying to get it level