Friday, May 28, 2010

What they became {memorial day}

Land that I love
Originally uploaded by Kudzu and Koolaid
They didn't set out to be remembered...
they didn't want to stand as the symbol of the cost of war...
they were young kids
with a love for their country
that drove them
into deserts
and jungles
edges of oceans
and into countries so far from the one they loved...

they didn't want to be remembered
they wanted
to come home,
they wanted football on Saturdays,
to tool around town with their buddies,
to kiss their girl
and Momma's pie on Sunday...

they didn't want to be thousands of miles away...
with cramped quarters
sticky and hot
foreign smells
little comforts...

they didn't want to watch their youthful ideas disappear
as they watched the life ebb from the bodies of their friends
there with them
in this place so far away from what they did want...

they didn't set out to be remembered
they set out to be soldiers...

and in strapping on their boots
ones that ultimately stood empty accompanied by their gun

they will forever be remembered
for what they became...


thank you to every man and woman that has bravely worn a uniform, deployed and didn't come heart is forever thankful for you ...

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made so and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
~John Stuart Mill

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am free.--Clarence Darrow

Thursday, May 27, 2010

skimming the surface

Do you remember the story of the setting up of the pool last year?

(i'll give you a minute to read it)

Last year...the pool nightmare...
that whole thing
was replaced, this year...
with ease.

(oh you know this has a BUT)

We got a new pool this year. Same style...but we already had the platform and all that was needed was ten bags of sand to balance out one side. The sand went down, the pool went up LITERALLY like magic.

Only, I've noticed ''stuff'' in the know, stuff, bugs and grass and general typical pool stuff. I checked the filter and replaced it Sunday night-only to go out there today before we had friends coming over to see, um, stuff.

I checked the pump, fiddled, reloaded with cholorine and then checked the filter.

The pump was working...the water was cycling...the cholorine was balanced...

the fliter


So I'm skimming off ''stuff''

and God kinda peeled a layer off of me.

I'm a lot like our pool.

I have a good foundation, pretty leveled up, after a lot of work in the last year.
But my heart...
my fliter...
sometimes is YUCK.
Even if every other system is working
if your heart is off...
if effects the whole deal.

Our pool...everything was running...
but there was still stuff on the surface of the pool...
and guess what
there was more ''stuff''
but it has settled on the bottom.
I got AE to get in and walk around to 'stir it up'
so I could skim it off.

Our hearts are our filters...
we have to guard them
we have to take care of our hearts
we have to surround ourselves with people who want the best for us
who love us
who with fight for us and with us
who will hold our hearts
for us.

When we neglect to care for our hearts
our fliters
it's going to show...
there's going to be stuff
on the surface
and you'll have to skim it all off...
but you know what,
there's also going to be stuff on the bottom, things you've ''stuffed'' and tucked away and pushed aside...
and it needs to be stirred up...
it needs to be brought to the surface too...
and skimmed off...


a pure heart

tend it well

out of your heart springs EVERY(thought,action, belief) thing in life
guard it

Friday, May 21, 2010

things making me happy...

Originally uploaded by joymombecky
*sleeping the rain


*coffee with french vanilla creamer

*friends that make me laugh, when laughter is hard to come by

*text that make me smile

*summer almost being here

*my kids-my amazing kids

What's making you happy today? Find some happy, roll around in it. :)

I miss you, still, Nattie!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


last night the sermon at church was on...mercy, forgivness and grace...

in the last few days I'd read the following over at Janet's blog ...

God always has perfect timing--speaking to my heart and what I need to be reminded of...

He's good like that. :)

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

© 1968, 2001 Kent M. Keith

Today is Thursday...

day one

(what do you mean by day one, cheri???)

well I've been walking, still
but my eating
the last three days
not so good...
so today is day one
so day one it is...

it is also grass cutting day
(i love cutting the grass!)

it is also pool playing day
and sun soaking day...
and going to the farm day
so my daddy can sight in his riffle...
(although we may not do the farm, if we stay and make like fishes in the pool)

today also will hold some picture taking
I want to deliberately take pics...i've gotten woefully out of the habit when I was without a camera...

and it's crochet day
I haven't crocheted in a couple of months
I know
and I have several unfinished objects that NEED TO BE DONE
and I want them to be done...
I need to seem something completed. :)

So basically, you know how people always ''restart'' on Monday? They lay out goals and plans and MONDAY is the day...

Well today is Thursday...Thursday is the new Monday! :)

Here's to day one! :)

Friday, May 14, 2010

finding the happy

Originally uploaded by joymombecky
*friends (I have the best ones-true)

*surprises ( coke...)

*laughing over something completely silly for 10 mins with Mer on the phone--that if I tried to explain it to you, you would not think it was funny..but OH MY STARS---i love to laugh like that...



*thinking about yarn projects...i have several UFO's (unfinished objects )that need to be finished..dude...and I am thinking of new projects. :)

summer is on its way--wooooooooooooot

happy weekend!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


don't tell

but I really like that song by Kanye.

I sang it a lot today.

a lot.

The kids PC has a virus/spyware/junk
that then of course made it automatically open up
awful, terrible JUNK
makes me sick to my stomach
argh and blah

and well
see I didn't know what to do.
I mean YES in the broad general sense I did.
but when I was married
it just defaulted as his job
he kept all that stuff up to date and the like...

and it felt a little overwhelming
or a lot overwhelming
I semi figured out what to do
(thank you google and friends)
but their computer is so eaten up it won't let you DO anything
before it throws up a splash screen with an infected error message...

but I will fix it
I will
i can
and that, that don't kill me
is makin' me stronger :)

I also ran stairs today.
and I will be the first to tell you that i don't love to exercise...
but I love the way I feel when I do...
I love to feel my body--feel strong
or like it is getting, stronger
and I love the way it helps me think...
and maybe everyone has that effect?
but even if I just walk my five miles...
something about pushing my body-frees my mind

I came in and Daddy wanted cookies...his favorite is peanut butter. So I made up a batch of cookies...well two cooked a bit longer so they were crunchy (the way my Daddy likes them) the other batch soft and chewy (like my kids like them).

I talked to a friend today and had one of those moments of clarity. The discussion was money and its effect on our lives and it was said, ''there have been times I would have burned all of mine if it would have made me happy.'' We are all looking for the same thing, you know. The wise know that it's not found in money or fame or comforts. I will be the FIRST to tell you money makes things easier to deal with and anyone that would deny that is just foolish. But money does not equal happy. You know what equals happy?


Strength of character.
Strength of heart.
Strength of purpose.


That Kanye.


Monday, May 10, 2010

and have ourselves a snack...

answering more questions...

Janet ask:

Here's my question: What are your food quirks? I know you don't like cantaloupe but I don't remember why . . . so what are some of your more aggressive food aversions?

****Heh, food quirks. I like to think don't have a lot of those or well, I don't think of myself as a picky eater...

I don't like cantaloupe-I like to refer to it a vomitloupe :) (i know, gross, right?) Nathan (oldest) LOVES it and would eat a whole one. I buy it for him. I am a HUGE smell person. HUGE. I remember scents. For me, cantaloupe has a BAD smell...I know, I know A LOT of people LOVE the scent of melon (clearly, Bath and Body Works had a whole line dedicated to it) but the scent to just not pleasant, at all. :) So there is the cantaloupe deal.

Otherwise, I don't like beets...turnips (but love turnip greens) I don't like chicken on a bone (but will eat it...but the whole meat pulling away from the bone when you bite it...totally skeeves me out...) I love the TASTE of cottage cheese...but the texture...ick. LOL Those are the things that come to mind, right off.

I LOVE steak---l.o.v.e it. I love salad. A steak salad is my idea of heaven. :)

Over the last couple of years I've really changed the way I eat. I don't avoid carbs all together...but I avoid simple carbs as much as I can. That is not to say I never eat them...because a girl has got to have a potato on occasion. ;) But by default, and because I honestly LOVE them, I eat a lot of salads. It's not about being 'one of those girls that won't eat anything to rabbit food' (one does not get to be the size I was, eating rabbit food...just saying! lol) I love love love food...but salads are a default that are a healthy choice and one that isn't hard for me to make or feel like, ''ugh, that again.'' I also love with a love that is pure and good...guac and pico...and could literally eat it EVERYDAY. :)

It goes without saying I love chocolate. Brownies are my idea of a good time...frosted brownies are like a rebellious good time. Hee! A chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting is my idea of an engagment ring. ;)

Saturday, May 8, 2010


i need you to know

especially on those days when you doubt it most.

i love you.

i need you to know
my heart aches when I look at you...
when you smile I see your life
I see you taking your first step toward me
and in that same step
taking your first step away...

this momma thing is hard
so hard
because I never, ever want you to hurt.
i don't want the words of mean people to stick in your mind
and rear their ugly heads...
i want everyone to know you
as these incredible beings
so filled with life
and love
and potential

it's what a momma does
she sees her baby
and her heart is transformed

it's on those days
those days that I whisper through clinched teeth...
those days that i ask for just 10 minutes with no one saying , ''momma''
those days that my snark and bark seem far more accessable than my nice...
those days when i am not ''the cool mom''
it's those days
i need you to know
and remember

you are my best effort
you are my world
my heart started beating, the day I met you
you pull from stength I didn't know I possess
you make me braver than I ever knew I could be...

my biggest disappointment in life
would be messing this up...
not being enough
or being too much

I fight against myself everyday
with every decision

i need you to know
you make my heart smile
you fill me with purpose
you amaze and delight me

i need you to know
that being your momma
is what I wanted
before I knew what I wanted

i need you to know
you make my heart


with all of my love,

More answers...

Katho asked what I hoped to get for my birthday & what would be an ideal Mother's Day...

Rhonda asked my shoe size so she can get me some Christmas Shoes, in case I meet Jesus...

Marisa asked if I planned to kill Rhonda...

@Katho--HONESTLY ... I don't care. I really don't. I love gifts...prizes, as I like to call them. I will not lie and say I don't enjoy getting expensive BIG gifts (duh!) but I am truly a SUCKER for little fun things...a little something that shows you were thinking of me, or you paid attention to something I said. LOVE IT. A pack of M & M's given in love goes a loooooooooooooooooong way with me. More than anything honestly it's not WHAT you get can call me on the phone. But it's that whole ''you took the time'' thing. KWIM

Ideal Mother's Day... I'm having it. My whole family will come over after church. I'll be surrounded by people that know me and love me. My ''wish'' would be-in a land far have ONE day for myself. To check into a nice hotel...sleep in the next morning, have coffee while watching the news...a massage, mani & pedi and an afternoon movie. :)

@Rhonda- 11. (they were 9's before babies and I thought my feet were I know they are...but alas I share the same shoe size as Paris Hilton--I hope that is our only similarity. :)

@ Marisa--probably. :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

More answers to burning questions...

Stephanie and Penny both asked about summer plans...

I love Summer. It's my favorite season...well it ties with Fall, which ties with Spring (you'll notice WINTER is missing from this...UGH)

Summer Plans 10

(still firming up)

Right now the theme seems to be Lost and Dangerous
I want to watch all the seasons of LOST with the older two (at least) and work through "The Dangerous Book for Boys"

We have several trips planned...Biloxi, possibly back to 'the river'... the kids had fun when we did Tanner's Beach last year-so I think I'm going to try to fit that in maybe bi-weekly. It's local and fun.

Deliberate my kids are getting older and their interest seems to be computer and game related-I can feel our time slipping. I want this summer to be about simplicity. Day trips to parks...hiking...bird watching (AE's current obession)My Nathan turns 12 in September--he is so not a little kid anymore...but I want to relish this summer...I want to suck every moment from it and I want it to be filled with good memories. I want to own the days...not letting the day slip by into another fog of routine and default schedules. (just ''be''...that will make sense in a minute...)

Read Aloud--I used to do this regularly-and it is one of the things in the last 1/5 yrs that has fallen by the I am going to pick a series or something and we are going to pile on the bed and I'm going to read ... we are going to get lost in a story together. :)

We are going to memorize the BE ATTITUDES...and work on making them real in our lives.

Other than that...lots of swimming, movie watching, laughing, blowing bubbles, eating watermelon, birthday celebrating, watching fireflies and soaking in the sun. :)


I want to journal (paper) daily or near daily...
I want to lose about 25 lbs and will be at what I think is my goal...
I want to walk, a lot more, it's becoming my sanity saver...
I want to relax...
I want this summer to be one of renewal and refreshing and finding out and getting to know

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The one where I answer your questions...

From Mama Said...she asked two:

My question... when in the world are you going to come to Canada and visit me? ;)

Why do you love your birthday so much? I've never met someone who loves their birthday as much as you do! I get a kick out of seeing how excited you get about it but wonder why...

****When am I coming to Canada? Um...when it's NOT snowing. :) I've actually been to Canada, back when I was in college--it's beautiful! :)

Why do I love my birthday so much? Hmmmmmm. Honestly, I don't know-I just always have, always. It was never about things--it was about the fun. I didn't grow up having elaborate bday parties, didn't have a sweet sixteen celebration etc...but I love me a birthday. I don't know--it's your day and you get to celebrate! Mostly I like to celebrate with other people. I am ridiculously obnoxious about my birthday. I am...but I want you to be too. I want you to enjoy my day just as much. I want you to celebrate--it's what we should do in life. :)

One of my best memories is my 21st birthday, where I had an Army Ranger in my kitchen making me funnel cakes. Another great birthday memory is from college. Since I have a summer birthday I never really had parties with friends. However, when I was at Truett McConnell, school was still in session and my parents drove up ...brought party goods (Sesame Street!), ice cream, cake and the whole nine yards and we had a party in my dorm lobby--with anyone that wanted to come by...SO much fun. :)

Got a question you are dying for me to answer..leave a comment, shoot me an email or post it over on FB. :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cinco De Mayo

May 5th...
not feeling bloggy...
actully feeling bloggy-but they feel heavy and I am wanting to focus on some light and happy...

So in that vein...I open the floor to you, dear readers (waves at the two of you, madly!)

What do you want to know?
What burning question have you been dying to ask...
Do you really wonder if I wash my dust pan (yes!)
Shoe size...
Favorite song...

You ask and I'll answer (more than likely, or I'll say UM, that's a bit too personal so NO! heh!)



if you can't get your questions to post, feel free to shoot them via email or PM or post them over at FB. :)

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I sat there...
the breeze blowing, just shy of carrying any humidity...
the fountain,
splashing, amid color changes and sending off an occasional askew spray...
all of us
a party of five
sitting on one bench
the night...
for a few moments
we were just there...laughing
scooting over to smash together
laughing more
it's always the best gift...
the one you get
as a surprise
my eleven year old looks at me
and says,
''mom, i really love you.''

{something special}

then i spotted them
the couple
they were young,
and in love...
you could tell by the way she watched him
and the way he enveloped her hand in his...
he stopped her by the fountain,
spun her around
and they shared a bit
of magic...
a night, so perfect
a memory
so sweet

{something wishful}

and I sat there
with the breeze
my kids giggles
and my heart full...
my life
these moments
I wouldn't trade...
they are my northern star
they are my soul's song
they are the reason I am

{something beautiful}