Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Rebuilding [the series]

Every year, for the last...hmmmm...five years or so I've picked a theme for the new year...

this year my theme is rebuilding

and I'm not sure exactly what all that is going to cover, other than everything...but I'm pretty sure it will be blogged and so gets a series... :)

I have a lot going through my head, a lot of thoughts, ideas, ponderings and wonderings...

this was me::: three years ago (in red/glasses)




My life changed a lot three years ago. All of that is not for public consumption. That is not to sound vague, cryptic and hoity toity. There is just no need. If you want to know something, then take the private venue and ask, I do not hide my life, but I keep my private life private.



Also, this year is REbuilding. Regardless of why or how...I am where I am...and this year I am rebuilding ...the focus is not on the past...the focus the FOCUS is on REBUILDING.



This is me::: almost exactly two years later (the one not wearing the spunky headband *smiles*)


Clearly, there have been some changes around here...
outwardly
and
inwardly

but part of the rebuilding is repairing
my weight loss is almost done...I will reach my goal this year by my birthday (that would be June 7th for any of you that have somehow MISSED MY BIRTHDAY)
but my body shows the scars and damage of time of neglect
I am not going for perfect
I am going to the best I can be...

one thing I've learned in this time is that...

sometimes you have to work harder, because you didn't work at all for a while
I'm almost 40. Every step of this journey in being a healthier me has been hard. But you know what...I am willing to walk more, run even. I am willing to do leg work, push ups, lunges, lift, pilates...I am willing to do the EXTRA work...
because something that I am beginning to glimpse is that in doing the work...in reaching toward you goal...you change the outside (yes!) but the inside, OH the inside gets shifted too. You rebuild the outside and all the while God is doing a work on the inside.
I have goals. Vain goals ... that I want to reach. And it is going to take a lot of work. Not because the goals are far fetched...but because for a long time, I didn't do the work.
it's easier not to...it's always easier not to
but doing the work...
the day to day, meeting the goal-the promise you've made to yourself,
makes the hard part, easier.
Here's to rebuilding...
all things new.

3 comments:

AGK said...

You're awesome! And you're right - sometimes you do have to work harder to make up for what you didn't do before. I like that!

Dana said...

OH MY STARS --could I love this more?

Madame Rubies said...

Cheri, I have been thinking about your rebuilding a lot lately. For whatever reason, God has kept you in the forefront of my mind. One thing that I realized...

You are more you NOW than when I first met you. When I first knew you, I always felt like something wasn't complete in our relationship. It was like trying to talk on phone line with static, though I would not have worded it that way, back then. Back then, I just thought it was because you were a better Christian than me and a better mother than me, and so I felt intimidated by you. However, since our ATL hang out times and the talking and praying for one another, I know that you were not feeling very whole yourself, back then, and that is what I was picking up on. But, now, you are YOU. You are more fully you than I can explain.

Does that even make sense?