Tuesday, February 1, 2011

gentle reminders

sometimes in the midst of bad parenting moments
i am humbled
tonight was one of those nights.

all of us, short on sleep from the night before, have been a bit testy today.
when you take five year old, high drama and mix it with lack of sleep...
you get five year old WAY HIGH DRAMA multiplied to the four hundredth power ...

so, after AE had directly disobeyed 3 times I sent her to brush her teeth and to bed
(because she needed bed..worn.out.frayed.emotions.put the child to bed)
I'll pause for a moment so you can, in your mind, work up the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that accompanied this edict. :)

So she's in bed...
i'm cleaning the kitchen
and well
it's the drama
and here is the truth
drama
wears
me
out
but I also know
while it's not right or good...
when you reach a point of tired-
you are just tired
and it's not that you're not responsible for the drama
it's just...you are wound up in it by that point.

so I go back to her room and I remind her
as gently as you can
when you are also tired
from a day that did you...
that it was bedtime...

about ten minutes later the drama had died down
the kitchen was done
and I went to her room
she just wanted to tell the boys goodnight
but really
she just wanted to get up
but that was a no go
so tears

snubbing
real full on
emotional release
my body is so tired I cannot stand myself
crying

and she looked at me
and said
I CANNOT MAKE THIS STOP
please forgive me

and I sat there
a little stunned

and I snuggled her up to me and said, ''baby you were already forgiven''
and she pulled herself into me
and I sang over her...
the words of the old hymn altered
to pour truth all over her

oh how I love anna-elizabeth
oh how I love anna-elizabeth
oh how I love anna-elizabeth
because she is so sweet...
to me
she is so wonderful
and I love her
to me
she is so wonderful
and I love her
to me
she is
so wonderful
and I love her
because she is so sweet
and I sang
and I cried...
and her snubbing subsided
and she fell into a soft place of rest...
and I remembered my own day
that wasn't great, that chased me with reminders
...
and my questions that forever echo in my soul
and my wanting to know why
and my own drama
and tears
full on
emotional
i am at the end of myself
fits
and as I held her
HE held me
and sang...
grace mixed with faith and love, poured over me and into me, all because of Jesus
1 Timothy 1:14

2 comments:

Maria said...

Breakthrough time for me ~ for the first time in a long time, if ever, I am totally able to read your writing as you wrote it, as a revelation as a self-expression, as something beautiful happening for you, and not through self (you hear that SELF not you) condemning eyes.

Madame Rubies said...

I. Love. This.

And....

I. Love. You.


When Haydn was a baby, I reworded the rubber ducky song.

Wesley Haydn,
You're the one!
You make my life
So much fun!
Oh my Haydn,
What would I do
Without you!?
Da da da da da!