i pray

i pray

... because my soul has this deep calling, this desire to be known
and the person who knows me best
the One that knows
every.
single.
fault.
and I have them. OH do I have them.

the person that knows
i'm jealous
judgmental
think bad things
say bad things
laugh at inappropriate things
do inappropriate things
gossips
lies
loses my temper
fails
falls
tempts
is tempted
have weaknesses that ensnare me, repeatedly

He knows
all the stuff about me...
all of it
and He still hangs around.

Because His love won't let go...
even when I run
when I hide
when I fall again
when i let Him down
when I do what I promise I won't
when I act
just
like
a
girl
robed in flesh

He loves me.

and he listens...
to me prattle on
and He knows I pray and am distracted by shiny
and He knows I am
His.

I find it easy to pray.
not because it's easy to do...
because admitting you've fallen short, again
is humbling.

but having Him there, standing ready to hold your hand,
makes me want to walk straighter
be better
be more

praying is the most holy of the daily mundane
i can cry out to my abba father
in the midst of crayolas and barbies
i can run to him ...as I run in circles through my day
i can ask for mercy
be granted grace
in the shower...as I scrub off the sludge of another day
my soul too, loses it's grime...
i can't wait to pray at the appropriate time-
i pray
with each breath

whispering hope


i pray
not because i have it all together
or am an example to follow
or even know what I am doing...

i pray
because of all that I am not
and all that I want to be...

prayer is my link to reality
it connects my faith driven spirit
to my impulse driven flesh
it balances out
my Apostle Peter mouth
with my Martha prone persona
and makes me accepted

by the ONE who matters most.

I pray
because it keeps me in communication
with the One who created me
to
be
exactly who I am...