Four

i need you to know

especially on those days when you doubt it most.

i love you.


i need you to know
my heart aches when I look at you...
when you smile I see your life
I see you taking your first step toward me
and in that same step
taking your first step away...

this momma thing is hard
so hard
because I never, ever want you to hurt.
i don't want the words of mean people to stick in your mind
and rear their ugly heads...
i want everyone to know you
as these incredible beings
so filled with life
and love
and potential

it's what a momma does
she sees her baby
and her heart is transformed


it's on those days
those days that I whisper through clinched teeth...
those days that i ask for just 10 minutes with no one saying , ''momma''
those days that my snark and bark seem far more accessable than my nice...
those days when i am not ''the cool mom''
it's those days
i need you to know
and remember

you are my best effort
you are my world
my heart started beating, the day I met you
you pull from stength I didn't know I possess
you make me braver than I ever knew I could be...

my biggest disappointment in life
would be messing this up...
not being enough
or being too much

I fight against myself everyday
with every decision
...

i need you to know
you make my heart smile
you fill me with purpose
you amaze and delight me

i need you to know
that being your momma
is what I wanted
before I knew what I wanted

i need you to know
you make my heart

whole.

with all of my love,
Momma