Tuesday, May 11, 2010

stronger

don't tell

but I really like that song by Kanye.

I sang it a lot today.

a lot.

The kids PC has a virus/spyware/junk
that then of course made it automatically open up
awful, terrible JUNK
makes me sick to my stomach
junk
argh and blah

and well
see I didn't know what to do.
I mean YES in the broad general sense I did.
but when I was married
it just defaulted as his job
kwim
he kept all that stuff up to date and the like...

and it felt a little overwhelming
or a lot overwhelming
because
I semi figured out what to do
(thank you google and friends)
but their computer is so eaten up it won't let you DO anything
before it throws up a splash screen with an infected error message...

but I will fix it
I will
because
i can
and that, that don't kill me
is makin' me stronger :)

I also ran stairs today.
and I will be the first to tell you that i don't love to exercise...
but I love the way I feel when I do...
I love to feel my body--feel strong
or like it is getting, stronger
and I love the way it helps me think...
and maybe everyone has that effect?
but even if I just walk my five miles...
something about pushing my body-frees my mind
clarity
stronger

I came in and Daddy wanted cookies...his favorite is peanut butter. So I made up a batch of cookies...well two batches....one cooked a bit longer so they were crunchy (the way my Daddy likes them) the other batch soft and chewy (like my kids like them).

I talked to a friend today and had one of those moments of clarity. The discussion was money and its effect on our lives and it was said, ''there have been times I would have burned all of mine if it would have made me happy.'' We are all looking for the same thing, you know. The wise know that it's not found in money or fame or comforts. I will be the FIRST to tell you money makes things easier to deal with and anyone that would deny that is just foolish. But money does not equal happy. You know what equals happy?

Strength.

Strength of character.
Strength of heart.
Strength of purpose.

Stronger.

That Kanye.

:)

2 comments:

Madame Rubies said...

I had my own bit of, um, well, overwhelming-ness. This weekend, I mean. I'll tell you more about it in July. Hee hee. That being said, it was over money and then, my reading for my artist study this week was on money and here you are... writing about money.

Think God may be trying to tell me something?

Cheri said...

pssssssst. Heather.
MONEY.

:)

girl it was big moment for me too...it really was, but it was round about...in that money hasn't been in the forefront of my mind. KWIM...but man, such clarity on so many levels, truly.