Where is the dreamer...

Here comes that dreamer...let's kill him, throw him into one of these cisterns and say that an animal devoured him, then we'll see what becomes of his dreams....

Gen. 37:19

Did you read that verse?

Now, no one would argue Joesph was a bit of a brat and a braggart with his dreams and all...

but can you imagine your brothers plotting against you, selling you into slavery, putting you in the way of suffering and troubles...

Joseph was a little tainted and frustrated against them

ANGRY

{and probably asked WHY...do you ask why? do you see the stuff happening around you, in your life and just want to scream WHY WHY WHY WHY... I do...oh I do...}

The thing about life, Joseph's or mine (or yours...) circumstances will make us angry...they will break our hearts, they will knock the breath from us...

we'll wonder,

we'll question,

we just want to know why

and we'll be angry

and we have to decide

(we always have to decide)

what are we going to do with that angst, that fire in the pit of our stomach, that need.to.just.punch.something. ...

we can hold it

we can clinch our fist, our nails can dig into our flesh, the veins popping for the tension of holding.on...

see if your hand is clasped (a picture of us ...holding our anger...)

you are imprisoned

because you are angry alright...

(and YOU MAY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE...life sometimes simply stinks)

you are holding on, clutching, occupied,

limited

isolated

but

if you open your hand

it's free

you can pick up,

create,

control,

choose,

what to do with your hand...

holding on the the anger

FEELS RIGHT

but it's a prison

opening up your hand

letting it go

that's harder

but look

now

your hands are empty

free

touch some possibilities

clasp some forgiveness

go ahead...

what they meant for evil in Joseph's life...God meant for good

for good

it's all going to be good

all.

going.

to.

be.

good.

now,

scoop up some grace

let it slip through your fingers like sand

and see

just see

what becomes of your dreams...

Come to the party...

lately i've been reading and rereading the prodigal son...

you know the parable, right?

a man had two sons, the younger one ask for his portion, the father gives it to him, he squanders it with wild living, he loses it all and finds himself feeding pigs and wanting their scraps to eat, he remembers his Daddy, decides to go home, the Daddy sees him coming and prepares for a party to celebrate, the older brother gets a little put off, whines and pouts and acts like me...

(you can read it HERE )

i've read this countless times and heard sermons on it my whole life...
but the truth of it,
is falling kind of fresh.
maybe I just need to be reminded...

my favorite portion of that whole parable
the verse ... where the younger son...the one that went his own way, wasted his fortune...
it says...

"when he came to his senses''

this parable is such a picture
of humanity
of our nature

as i read, each player spoke to me--but it was the older brother that I thought about

a lot

see,
his brother went off
wasted all his money
on
partying
women
living in a way that left him excessively empty
and THEN he decided to come back home

when the daddy saw that boy coming
he was
elated
he called for the servants to
put on a party

and the older brother?
he got a little put out (or you know...ANGRY if we stay true to scripture)
he sat and thought of all he'd done right...
he'd stayed with his daddy...
he'd worked and lived right...
he'd honored his raising...
and he'd never gotten a party
(whiny pouty crybaby)

i love how it's worded, when the daddy kinda sets him in place...
''be WE had to celebrate and be glad''
(in other words...get over yourself, refocus boy...WE have to celebrate...your brother is HOME!)

it's hard ...
the human nature in us
likes to see you get what's coming to you...
but it's kinda crazy...
we want grace for us
but justice for ''them''
we want to remind God of all the good we've done
and WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM GOD...
do you SEE what they are doing????
can you BELIEVE the choices they are making????
how can they DO THAT????

and then it kinda hits us
we are 'them'
we all are...
in our own way

we are them

the daddy was never happy with the younger sons choices
it broke his heart to think of his son
living below what he was worth...
but you know what

you can know something

but until THEY know it
until it BECOMES TRUTH TO THEM
it won't matter to them...

the younger son
oh
he just wanted to
LIVE
be his own man

the older son
oh
he just wanted to
MATTER

the daddy
oh
the daddy
he just wanted both his boys
to party
because
the younger was HOME
the older ALWAYS had been
and they both
had to realize the TRUTH
for them to 'come to their senses'
to know
whose they were...
and what was theirs ALL ALONG

and that
home is where the heart is
and your heart will never
be happy
anywhere else

so come on home
there is a party waiting for you

come to your senses...

Land that I love

Land that I love
Originally uploaded by Kudzu and Koolaid

i am free

but not without cost...
men and women, both brave and frightened

crossed and ocean
and set forth on this continent
a new nation...
my nation.

the struggle,
the hardships,
the plight
all carved the path
so that today, I walk around

free

and from battlefields
among fallen bands of brothers
from jungles
deserts
watery graves
and the mountains of Iwo Jima-
flag waving, proclaiming proudly

your gift is freedom

she welcomes them
tired and poor
those yearning to be free

free to...
say
do
be
think
believe...

even if it opposes the very essence of what our country was founded upon...

free
means
free

and i am thankful

in my sights
a lady greets me
beautifully aged
gracefully carrying herself
as only one who has watched her children grow...
some to make her proud,
other to make her question her abilities,
can walk.

she embraces me
and she whispers...

Freedom
my gift to you is
Freedom

-cjb

Happy Birthday, America

Christmas doesn't really work out for me...

{yesterday was free movie day at our local theater...they were showing The Polar Express. (woot woot woot...one of my favorite modern Christmas movies) If you've read here, much at all, you know that I pull spiritual parallels from lots of daily doings. The Polar Express is no different. :) I actually blogged before, a few yrs ago about it...but, yesterday, it hit me differently}

Have you seen The Polar Express?

The kid no longer hears the bell, but so badly wants to...

he is taken on this fantastic journey to the North Pole via The Polar Express where there are friends, and fun hot chocolate dancing men, a wise and savvy conductor, a sage hobo and ultimately Santa Claus...

and in the end
he hears the bells. :)

But the stories within...the bits of truth, or what I received as truth are what make me love this movie...

there is a kid, you understand a poorer kid...that life hasn't always been rosy for...
he's the last stop on the way to the North Pole...
hair askew
confidence lacking
he separates himself from the group
sitting in a different car
...
at one point when he is sought out and asked about the trip and Christmas and the like
he responds,
''christmas has never really worked out for me''

scramble up some letters
and there is something ...

''Christians have never really worked out for me''

Sometimes, as a Christian I am so ashamed of how ''we'' act...
and the stuff we peddle...
we will judge
and speak harshly
and then blanket it over by saying,
'oh i'm not perfect, just forgiven.'

really?

cause you sound a little self righteous
to me

(and I sound a little self righteous to me, a lot...lest you think I am pointing anywhere other than myself)

it truly breaks my heart
at how
we have a world of people
people who are hungry
for love
acceptance
truth
for something real

and they fill that void
that need
with EVERYTHING
other than what will truly fill it...

because the people that represent
what they need
are such
bad
representatives

we are so redeemed
so holy
so fixed
that we put out there
this idea
that we have attained
and maybe,
just maybe
if you'll work really hard
and be really different
and
and
and
then you too can be loved by Christ...

and God's heart breaks into a million pieces

God is holy
and righteous
never, ever mistake that...

but God
met people where they were
and he LOVED them
and he accepted them
and HE changed them...

that Christian thing doesn't work out for them...
because of us...

but the movie
and people give me hope...

after going to the North Pole and seeing his gift, the boy that Christmas has just never worked out for ...in his heart took root and in his countenance you see a bit of belief...

and upon returning to his home, he goes into the house, discovers the gift he'd seen at the North Pole and runs to the porch to show his friends still on the train...

and the response, whispered between them was, ''it's amazing...''

Oh, if we can ever love people, really...really...really love people. If we can love them where they are, and show them true concern and compassion. If we can ever
really
be
Jesus
to this world

you'd see the change in them...
they would run out, carrying the gift

....

it's amazing!

threads showing...

I took my truck to have the front end aligned the other day.

I knew I needed tires, both my Daddy and my brother had pointed that out to me...

but my daddy said to get the front end aligned
so, because I'm super obedient (HA!) I did that first. :)

I took it to the shop where they did their thing and the man walked out, slip in hand and proceeded to talk to me.

On the slip I see ...

''needs four tires...
NEEDS two front tires-threads are showing interior''

The man then tells me about needing tires and explains that the interior front tires have threads showing and he says they can blow out and you'll have a lot of body damage-so I needed to take care of that.

The tires, when you look at my truck...don't look dangerous...
why?
because it's the interior
(but the damage is there...)
the threads are showing...
the potential for a blow out
is
right
there
and the results of a blow out
damage
lots
and lots
and lots of
body damage...

now if you know me,
you know
YOU JUST KNOW
that God used that practical conversation to speak to my heart
(cause God fully understands me...lol and how simple He has to keep it!)

is that not a picture of us?

so often we look
OK

but the threads are showing
the damage is there
ON THE INTERIOR

and we are walking around
'driving' on borrowed treads
just edging on a blow out

and when the blow out comes
and it will...
anytime our 'interior' (our heart)
isn't kept
anytime we 'drive' around
finding our own way
finding our our route
driving any distance to seek our fill
doing doughnuts in the parking lot of self...
we are just dancing with a blow out...
tires and our Spirit can only handle so much wear and tear...before
the blow out...

we can avoid the damage...
our alignment may get out of whack...
our tires may show thread...
but we don't have to go and go and go until
the blow out

we can stop
park
rest
and let Him make all things new...

brand new day
brand new grace
brand new tires

drive