a box full of surprises...

one of my favorite things is surprises...

big ones...medium sized ones...little ones...

I love them.

This week I got a nice surprise.

For a little background.

i.love.waffle.house.

(judge me as you wish)

as life would have it...I went to high school with a girl that now manages a Waffle House.

(be careful with that judging...)

aforementioned girl...

has her Bachelors degree in Science

and is a member of the Master Gardeners Club

and also (since we're attaching labels)

excels in sarcasm. 

i love her.

and this week

she surprised me 

(because, I love Waffle House

and NM lacks very many of them...)

with a box full o' Waffle House goodness.

I really am God's favorite.

and you really should get to know that WH waitress...

she just may surprise you.

:)

Happy Sunday.

just another manic monday...

Monday.

ah.

Monday has become a day that I try to make nice with , as of late.

I don't always subscribe to the Monday's Stink idea...but I have had a few over the last few weeks that have made me consider the possibility.  With all that said...today was good.

I think it was because I planned for it to be...

I planned to not leave the house...or get out of my pjs....i planned to let the kids sleep in and to start school late...i planned out lunch and dinner and did the prep work to make that happen ... I cleaned some, tidied some, read some, facebooked some... it wasn't a day of sloth or lazy... but it just wasn't a day of crazy.

I won't always have this luxury...
but today I did...
and I am glad.

say what you need to say

did you know I was never a huge John Mayer fan till the last year or so...
I love his song, "Say What You Need To Say''

My favorite line...

''even if your hands are shakin'

and your faith is broken

even as the eyes are closing

do it with a heart wide open...

say what you need to say''

As someone, who (believe it or not) has gone their whole life weighing every word...this song, as a reality is hard for me. Very hard. I am a very wordy girl. I love to talk. I am sarcastic and quick with wit and comebacks, generally. I love to joke and kid around. But it is rare that I open up and really say what I need to say.

Why?

Rejection, of course.

It's much, much easier for me to appear one way, to project that...than it is to disappoint you with who I really am.

That probably sounds far more dramatic than intended. The point is...I can listen to you. I can hear your struggles. I can see broken places in your life & it makes me love you more. It makes me want to help you...to pray for you...to encourage you...to let you know that YOU are not those broken things...you are incredible and you shine and you have this amazing potential and capacity to be so much. I can see that so clearly.

I can't seem to apply it to me. I seem to think that if I let you know i'm broken that it will be too much.

and you'll walk away.

so it's safer for my heart

to project the 'kinda sorta have it together'

and shoulder on...

than to risk you knowing me

and not liking me.

rejection is a hard, hard thing.

I learned to be funny...early on

to make fun of myself before you had the opportunity.

I built up huge walls...

that protected me

from both having deep relationships but also from being hurt deeply...

The thing is...with people like me...the ones that have the biggest walls...

if you EVER penetrate them,

you find that we have the most tender hearts...

so easily bruised

because we've exposed them to so few.

You find that we give, until it hurts, typically, because we've trusted you enough to let you in...

You find a person so scared

so very scared.

Because then you have the power to hurt us, and hurt us badly...

And on the convex, you end up putting expectations on those you do let in...sometimes unfairly.

And sometimes people do hurt you...

they just do...

and you hurt them...

but you can't, I can't

live my life protecting myself from potential pain...

not when there is so much potential magic...

say what you need to say...

100 Things

about me.
I've done this on every blog.
Since I am procrasting packing - here we go.

1. my name is cheri (shu ree...like marie...only sh rie) I have never met anyone that said it correctly.

2. My nickname growing up was Ri Ri...then Ri. My family still calls me Ri Ri. It makes me happy.

3. I was born in Georgia-but have lived in several states: Alabama (twice!), Mississippi, Kansas, Texas, New Mexico & Montana.

4. I've lived in a lot of cities in Georgia: Carrollton, Bremen, Tallapoosa, Auburn, Cleveland, Sand Hill (villa rica-ish)

5. I am 36 years old.

6. I love and adore my birthday-more than is normal.

7. I sing.

8. My first solo I was 4 and sang "He Did It All For Me"

9. I like to clean and organize things.

10. I put my dust pan and my trash can lid in the dishwasher.

11. I clean my washing machine & vaccum.

12. I don't care about other peoples stuff/junk/organization--that doesn't bother me, but *I* like to organize my stuff. You can do whatever you want to do.

13. I like music.

14. I will watch movies over and over if Ilike them. I have seen "You've Got Mail" no less than 50 times.

15. I also love Kate and Leopold.

16. Clearly, I am a fan of Meg Ryan. :)

17. I have neat handwriting.

18. I learned to crochet 3 years ago and I really, really love it. Like, love it like an old lady.

19. I am loud.

20. I am generally funny.

21. I am way sarcastic.

22. I am not easy to get to know. I mean, really get to know.

23. I like people-most of the time.

24. I am judgmental by default.

25. I am being humbled-daily.

26. I like water with lime.

27. I love chocolate.

28. Coffee makes me way happy.

29. I have never had alcohol.

30. #29 is not me 'bragging' I'm just saying-I've never had it--and it holds no appeal for me.

31. I have four kids.

32. 3 boys.

33. 1 girl

34. we are at the beginning of bday season...girl in july, boy 2 in august, boy 1 in Sept and boy 3 in October.

35. I homeschool and I am thankful I am able too.

36. I love road trips.

37. I have flown one time.

38. I am not scared of flying-but I don't like it so much. I'd rather drive. Even with four kids.

39. I am insecure.

40. I care what people think.

41. I am often intimidated.

42. I don't think most people realize #39, 40 or 41.

43. I love to cook.

44. I love to bake.

45. I love to lose myself in a book.

46. I love good conversation.

47. I love laughing.

48. I prefer showers.

49. I like a bath...BUT it is always followed by a shower.

50. I don't understand sitting in your dirt and not washing it off. LOL

51. Diet Coke is my vice of choice.

52. I like words.

53. I like blowing bubbles.

54. I like catching lightening bugs.

55. I wonder if I will ever feel like an adult.

56. I am going back to college.

57. My previous stint in college was great socially. :)

58. This go round I'm focusing on academics.

59. College was probably some of my best memories.

60. I get my feelings hurt pretty easily.

61. This is another thing that isn't something people readily guess about me.

62. I wear a size 11 shoe.

63. It was a 9 before kids.

64. I had 4 kids in 7 years.

65. I was either pregnant or nursing for 10 years straight.

66. My body totally looks like I was pregnant or nursing for 10 years straight-regardless of weight loss.LOL

67. I was not attractive pregnant-I was fat. LOL

68. I can almost palm a basket ball.

69. I am 5 ft 6.5 inches tall.

70. I really, really, really want to be 5'9''

71. I love flip flops.

72. Fall is my favorite season.

73. Well, it ties with Spring.

74. Christmas is my favorite holiday.

75. Other than my birthday.

76. I love prizes.

77. Not expensive stuff ...but little things that let me know you were thinking of me.

78. I have a good memory for bdays and numbers.

79. "Great Is Thy Faithfulness'' is my favorite hymn.

80. My hair is long.

81. My hair is naturally blonde-but went pretty dark with each pregnancy. Thus I started coloring it and I've been every shade from blonde to red. Right now I'm blonde. It feels right.

82. My hair is longer now than it's been in a long, long time. I fight having it cut daily.

83. I don't have a favorite color-it changes.

84. I secretly would love to be a writer. A really good writer who's (edited "whose" dude...Pattie you let that slide... :D ) words touch people.

85. I love khaki and black together.

86. My Daddy makes myheart smile.

87. We disagree and argue but at the core-he amazes me.

88. I love potatoes fried in a black skillet.

89. I love to take pictures.

90. Dogs are my favorite animals.

91. I am so not a fan of cats.

92. Kittens are ok-till they turn to cats. ;)

93. Sometimes I wish I could be 18 with the knowledge of now.

94. Psalm 27 is my favorite book & chapter of the bible...verse 14 is my favorite verse.

95. I love to sit at the ocean when it's dark and hear the waves crash, look into the sky with a million stars and whisper, ''wow''--because it is at that moment that I feel closest to God.

96. I admire quiet strength.

97. I love folding laundry.

98. I have a very keen sense of smell.

99. I love cemetaries-especially old cemetaries. (true!)

100. What else do you want to know...

Summer 09--alive & active

It seems I am a planner.
There is nothing I love better than a little organization of ideas, a clean crisp notebook and handwritten list. :)
I love, love, love a good plan.
and
most every summer I have one.
I have these grand ideas-plans-goals.
and
they end up
starting with gusto and fizzling about midstream
but
they were well laid plans
and there is always next summer, right?

Well, enter Summer 09.
I have been thinking on our plan.
I had formulated one, even.
However
we are veering from the plan.
[gasp]
[sputter]
[choke]
...
Oh there is still an idea...
a guide in mind
but there is no
outline and chart for progress
just an idea
and the idea is this...

ALIVE AND ACTIVE

from June 8-Sept 8
my motto
will be
alive and active

(now granted our summer won't run that long--honestly we'll start school mid August)

This summer I want to:

-lay out in the sun, a lot [with sunscreen, hee, but the sun makes me happy and makes me feel alive...so it totally fits the criteria for summer 09 checklist!]

-read a lot [we have some summer read alouds. I want to read some fluff. I want to read some challenging and thought provoking stuff. I'm going to saturate myself in Psalms & Proverbs. I'm reading To Kill A Mockingbird with my niece for her 9th grade honors English summer reading.

-lose 30 pounds. [find my collarbones, lose my baby belly-since my baby will be 4 (FOUR!) in July. LOL] (and well, Cheri will never be skinny-heh, it's one of those impossibilities and so not that goal...I'm 36, I've birthed and fed 4 kiddos--I am not, so, so, so not ever going to be hottt. LOL--and I'm ok with that, truly. But I can be better. We're aiming for better. :) [toning up the arms...lunges for the butt...pilates for lean muscle...hee, cheri and lean...um, yeah--ok....but true, I can work with what I have and rearrange it a bit--that's the goal. :) ]

-walk a lot (every.stinking.day.)

-water, drinking a whole, heckuva lot water.

-journalling (paper/pen/writing)

-quilt (whispers this...I want to make a quilt...my church has a weekly quilting circle...I can really learn this)

-cleaning out the basement (we are totally setting up a school room down there...it will be ideal but it will be a project that will be a summer long deal SO EXCITED)

-get school together. I will be schooling all four kiddos in August. I will be bulding most of the curriculum.

-live intentionally & I know this is so one of those ''sayings''...and I know I have said it myself. But I really, truly want to LIVE this summer. To be alive and active. To be with my kids, to participate in the moment to moment. To spend lazy days reading and watching old movies and laughing and catching lightening bugs. Just living. I am far too worried most of the time about the next thing or busy doing what has to be done--this is a weakness of mine...and one I want to address and work on this summer.

I want to look back at this list in September and smile. I want to read it with eyes that are clearer because more time has been spent in the fresh air and sunshine. I want the fingers that type the Sept update to be a summer bronze. I want more words in my vocabulary from books that expanded my thinking. I want a heart that loves Jesus more, because of time spent in His Word. I want a mind that is refreshed and ready for a new school year. I want a body that is stronger in might and in spirit (and a size 10 wouldn't hurt my feelings. Hee!) I want a life that is lived in the moment, creating opportunities to love and show the love of God to others. I want to look back at the summer of 09 and know that while it was one with lots of changes and challenges and sometimes it was hard to breath--that I made it and that I am stronger. I am better. I am more, than I was--I want to surprise myself.

Welcome, summer.

birthday bullets

*road trips to pick up cousins
*ice cream celebrating last days of school
*loud fun music & lots of laughing
*swimming in odd shaped pools
*fish frys with people that make you a better person
*14 yr old boys trying to impress pretty 14 yr old girls (hee!)
*fun conversations with random people in stores--because clearly it's my mission to talk to everyone I encounter :D
*hanging out with family
*building decks to level the pool so it won't be odd shaped
*making 40-11 trips to Lowes for 2x4 (both 8 and 10 feet long-just depending on which trip)
*trips to BJ's, buying bday cakes, having my name written REALLY BIG and my brothers (who's bday is June 20th...um, not so big! HEE!)
*making my Aunt Sharon put me as her wallpaper on her phone (hee!)
*sparklers and poppers
*hugging Jeremy (my cousin, who is like a brother)
*black raspberry vanilla from bath and body works
*sensual amber from bath and body works
*java chip fraps from Starbucks
*jelly cream pies by little debbie ...scoff if you will...Mrs. Cathy gave me two boxes for my bday--she is my favorite.person.ever.
*preebee tiara that I wore all.stinking.day.
*birthday cash
*cards
*lots of cards
*Facebook--literally my page runneth over with love from my friends...it truly made me cry
*ice cream socials
*my little church singing happy birthday to me
*my little girl singing happy birthday to me
*my boys tolerating their momma's crazy (hee!)
*preebee toes
*chocolate cake with chocolate fudge butter cream frosting
*my favorite movie that makes me happy-every.time.
*memories
the good ones, even if they are hard ones, being able to remember--to feel, to know, to relive that moment, anytime I want-is a gift I can open anytime I need it to be real again.

It was a very, very, very, very, very good day.

Thirty-six, you are looking pretty promising.

And that makes me happier than you can imagine.