Shopping list

First step moisturize

Second, chafing gel as primer... It fills pores, smooths skin and gives you a even starting point.

Foundation. Allow moisturizer to set for a few minutes. Apply your primer- wait a minute and then apply foundation. Add more to any trouble spots- this is a light weight and buildable foundation . 

This is my very favorite eyeshadow palette- all matte shades, great pigmentation and long wearing. 

My favorite pen eyeliner

Best mascara ON THE PLANET

Concealer. Maybelline Age Rewind Dark circle eraser. 

Put it on - after foundation- in a pie shape- blend- blend- blend- blend- blend!!!

 

Reconciled

It's a new year which lends itself to thinkerly thoughts and evulations...

I've gone through phases...I'm not opposed to resolutions but it's been a bit since I've made a list. Over the last twenty or so years-I've leaned more towards a word/phrase/ or bible verse and built my year off of that.

This year's word is MORE...and it goes with the verse from Ephesians that says, ''to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us'' ... so my goal/endeavor/ hope for 2016 is MORE...to trust more, love more, do more, be more...

and in doing that I have to reconcile...

-that the tightness of my jeans and the busted can of biscuits feeling- isn't a phase and that I have to actively get back into daily exercise and responsible food choices...

-that I am the adult and the adulting will continue (blah)

-that we are nearing the end of college football for another season

-that sometimes faith is scary-that's why it's called  faith and not ''what I already know and how it turned out''

-that I want this year to matter .

Over the last four years I've walked paths I never imagined. I've felt gutted and faithless. I've felt elated and alone. But what I know is that I am ready for redemption....beauty from ashes...for growth and progress. We get this one life- each day, new and we get to decide.

today,
I reconcile
that I want MORE
I want it to matter.
I want to look back at this year and it be a watermark
for so many good things.

Happy New Year!

Simple Saturday

It's  Saturday. 

August 1st

It's the very last marker , in a year that marked everything...

A year ago today

Was Donald's celebration of life service.

After today there will be no more first holidays or events - no more weekly markers...

It's odd to think a year has passed. 

It's amazing the grace that has carried me.

The lessons I've learned and the Truth that I've held tightly when things seem to unravel.

A year of learning , the steady truth, that God is good. 

Yesterday, however , was not good. 

There was a water pipe that  was broken...

Locating a plumber and then a main busting that involved a geyser spraying into the air for forty-five minutes and my whole subdivision being without water. 

And there was early morning eye appointments with dilated eyes...

And there was me:

Standing in my kitchen crying over Roddy Piper dying-

Or more aptly that news giving me a reason to release the full to overflowing cup I'd carried all day...

And there was me yelling like a banshee and my kids thinking," dear little baby Jesus, get that woman some meds" ha!

Yesterday was not my best day. 

I've had a year marked, a life marked with days when I've fallen just short...

But I awoke this morning

And the day is brand new

There are errands to run

And camp supplies to buy (two kiddos leave Monday)

A menu to plan and groceries to buy .

A day where I let my heart park on the truth that Jesus was and is, that He knew me before I was formed and placed a divine design on my life. 

A life filled with grace-

That (re) starts today. 

What a marker.

P.S. I am so loving the #first5 app and the study of John. 

That's what I love about a Sunday...

I was thinking on something this morning...

during a worship service that looked almost nothing like the worship services in which I grew up...

because see, I grew up in the South...
across the South...
my formative and high school years  in the red clay of Georgia...
elementary in the bayous of Mississippi...
and a few years in Alabama...

and there are a few things, in the South , that there are a lot of:
Dollar Generals
Waffle Houses
and
Baptist churches

Southern Baptist Churches

Sunday clothes
panty hose
choir robes
potlucks
sunday school

churches

and I love them.

And for a long time, that was my comfort zone, my normal...my way to worship.

So to find myself
in a building with folding chairs...
and a stage...
and (gasp) lights and a band
and a pastor sans a tie
and
no
sunday
school
(what? surely goodness and mercy...how are these kids going know the five finger facts or the books of the bible or  the ... oh... wait)

see,
I grew up in an area where everybody goes to church...
and even if you don't go to church you've gone to church..
or you go to VBS
or you go to Easter and Christmas...
or you know someone who goes and you've gone with them...
and you know
about church
because
well, they are , everywhere...
it's part of the culture , practically...

So when we moved here in 2013 and visited our current church...
maybe you'd find it odd...
that the first Sunday-Donald and I both knew-it was ''our'' church...

A church where the pastor pours himself out through three sermons each Sunday...
and a worship team leads before each...
where a whole wing is dedicated to kids-and filled with people passionate about them knowing Jesus...
where small groups meet throughout the week-and the work of the church is done...
where on Fridays Pastor Mike hosts one of the largest Celebrate Recovery programs ...
where you are welcome , in your brokenness ...in your addiction...in your weight of life...
to come a meet a Man that was broken for you...
A church where there is coffee and cake in the back...
and you come just as you are...

a church that is everything I believed the church shouldn't be...

My pastor is a bible believing, compassionate, ,God fearing and following, leader...
and he preaches truth...
and stands for Christ...
and honors Him with his life and in his example...

But my church exist...
because there are so many people-hurting, lost and in need of a Savior...
and the traditional church...
well,
they don't want their kind.
but my pastor has a heart for those people...
and because He wants them to know
there is more...
there is better...
there is hope...
there is Jesus....

I sat this morning, hands raised, singing the words...

"at the cross , at the cross, I surrender my life...
I owe all to you, I owe all to you"

and I looked around at a building full of people,
that came because:

"at BCF we exist to invite those who don't usually go to church and to help them become fully transformed followers of Christ."

and I was thankful...

Cough, cough, sputter, wheeze...

Good lands

::blows dust::

it's been a minute since I've posted , huh?

I didn't even realize how long, until I got the idea to update the blog...and to... blog.

It's been over a year.

I've had another birthday.

I've walked through the death of my husband...
and almost a year later...
I'm wanting to write...

and here is the thing...

it's going to be honest.
it's going to be my life.

I cook a lot.
I take pictures of the food I cook.

I get hooked on Netflix or Amazon shows and binge watch them.

I am Southern.
and not bothered by that.
I love the South.
I love the food of the South.
I love moss in trees...
humidity that's thick
and little country churches with red back hymnals.

I love college football.
SEC football.
but I watch it all.
All day long on Saturdays in the fall...

Coffee is my favorite food group.

Sometimes I ponder and think and words spill out...
and sometimes I rant about somebody talking too long to order their breakfast taco.

I lived through 2014...
I can handle most anything...

and I want to get back to blogging...
to simply sharing my days...
because there are some really good days ahead.

He promised...

I hope you'll hang around. :)

On becoming forty-one

Today is my birthday.

(go ahead, grab a piece of cake, or chocolate, or maybe pie... just celebrate...
I'll give you a minute)

I love my birthday.
(that's kind of an understatement)

Having a summer birthday, growing up I never got to have group parties...
but all that changed in college...
at the end of my freshman year...
I turned 19...
and....
well...
my parents drove up...
and there was a party...
and Sesame  Street party goods...
there was cake and ice cream...
and everyone was invited.
Now, I went to a smaller school...
but when I tell you my dorm lobby was full o' people eating free cake...
I'm not kidding.
It was great.

My twenty-first birthday found me...
at home
(right, I know... sowing oats and all)
with an Army Ranger making me funnel cakes...
there are worst ways to celebrate than fried dough covered in sugar.

My twenty-seventh, I woke early and took two little tow- headed boys to every play place in town...because seeing them crazy, happy with delight...kinda made my day.

all of my days...
my celebrating...
my life planning...

never prepared me for this life...I live.

I didn't imagine a divorce or a devastated heart...
returning home and being humbled...
wandering and wondering ...
finding God outside of the box in which I had so neatly kept Him...
and finding Him faithful, even when I wasn't...

and I never imagined
cancer becoming a re-connection tool
or a reconciliation...
and yet, I sit here...on the afternoon of my birthday
living that life.

and if I am honest...
it's not always easy...
and it's scary...
and a lot of times sad.

I never imagined discussing DNR's with my husband or explaining faith and healing to my eight -year- old daughter.
I never imagined watching the man that was so strong, be reduced to such levels of pain...

 I wouldn't have picked it (who would?)
but I'm learning to trust the greatest Gift Giver
to help me open all of my days to Him
and what He knows is best...

Some gifts come wrapped in the oddest paper...
but it's a gift , just the same...

Carried

I sat there...

the sun warm against my skin...
the breeze carrying the heavy scent of ocean in the air...
the sky ran into the water
 and the water
ran into the shore...
and I sat there...
watching the waves crash against the sand...

and she danced and played in the waves, in a way only and eight year old can...
and he slept...dozing in an almost perfect environment
and I watched..
kiteboarders skittering across the waves...pulled by a thin piece of fabric, catching the breeze...

and I sat...
lost in my favorite place...
looking at a little girl and a grown man...
and mesmerized by a man dancing across the waves...

because my life...
so often feels like an angry sea...
and my days...
the moments...
feel big and crashing...
and the reality-
enormous

and I feel like my faith is frail...
and weak...
thin.

but today...
I watched a man... be carried across the angriest of waves...
by a simple, thin sheet of fabric...
and
the wind

and I remembered another Man...
that walked across the water
and I felt the breeze grab the tiniest sliver of my frazzled faith...

and knew
He was carrying
me
too.